Do you remember that guy you spoke to who knew everybody? Or that one lady who could find anything with just a few phone calls? What about the friend who always has the hook ups? Those people are networkers, and it makes their lives easier. You can be one of them.
It’s impossible to capture all networking facets in a single blog post, but I’ve created some networking fundamentals to get you started. The most important part is that you start networking today–don’t wait. The sooner you begin networking the sooner you can reap the rewards.
Benefits of Networking
Goodbye comfort zone.
This reason alone will turn many of you away from networking, which is too bad. If you’re not naturally outgoing, networking provides an opportunity to stretch yourself and advance past your comfort zone. The more you do it, the easier and more natural it becomes. But you occasionally have to push yourself past nerve-wracking barriers. Do this enough, and networking will become second nature.
Increase social skills.
Networking doesn’t require spectacular social skills. I know plenty of socially awkward people who have excellent networks. Turn off ye ole television and shutdown ye ole computer and instead spend time in some social environments. Those great social skills will sharpen and develop as you interact with others.
Find hidden or unpublished opportunities.
All but one of my jobs I’ve found through networking. I don’t recall any of them being advertised, or if they were, I didn’t know about it. I’ve also found ample opportunities through networking, like having my car fixed free of charge and fantastic discounts. Networking opens the door to a whole new world. According to ABC News, 80% of jobs are found through networking (see the video here).
Find new friends and build relationships.
Most people I talk to view networking only as a way to find work, but it can be so much more. Each new contact strengthens and expands your network, and may turn into a deep, lasting friendship. Some of my closest friends were found through networking, and I hope to continue making great friends this way.
Active networking yields a high return saving both time and money.
Networking isn’t like cracking macadamia nuts which requires crazy effort and yields aught; networking is much more rewarding. With each added hour spent networking, the more useful and beneficial your network becomes. You’ll be surprised what your network can and will do for you. Think cheap vacations, free services, new jobs, and event tickets ranging from movies to football games. And guess what? That’s just the beginning. For every connection you create and maintain it’s possible time and money saved. Do yourself a favor and start networking, okay?
How to Network
Begin with who you know.
There’s always a place to start, even if you don’t think so. Begin with your family and friends, and then connect with your friend’s families and your family’s friends (phew, that was a tongue twister). And that’s just a drop in the bucket. You can ask past employers, coworkers, your baby sitter’s parents, and gym teachers. See? Nobody is exempt. Just to help you out, I’ve created a printable networking list to get you started. I think you’ll find it useful as a brainstorming tool. (Download “Networking Contact List” here).
Organize your contacts.
Once you’ve finished your list, organize it so that it makes sense to you. Your computer should have a contacts organizer or address book; if not I recommend using Google Contacts. If you need a few suggestions on an organization structure, here are a couple ideas. 
Create groups such as best connected, job connections, business savvy, social butterflies, or super nice people and then add the appropriate people to each group. You could also organize them in groups like family, friends of family, coworkers, church, or even by geographical location. Find an organization schema that works for you and organize your network. As you build your network, expand your contacts list and keep it organized. By the way, there’s no need to be 100% organized before you start. Chances are you’ll change your organization structure along the way.
Get involved, meet new people, and stand out.
It’s time to join an organization. It can be a community service group, a book club, a political club, a theater group, a cooking class, a hunting club, or a genealogy group–be involved. The more involvement you have, the more people you’ll meet. Take it one step further by working harder then the next guy, showing more interest than the next guy, and helping more than the next guy. People notice active contributors more than passive party poopers. But that doesn’t mean contributing just to be seen or heard. Contribute meaningfully.
Attend events and ask questions.
It’s easier to be yourself when talking with people who share similar interests. Social gatherings and events are filled with like-minded people to network with. If it’s a presentation, take notes and afterwards ask questions 1-on-1 with the presenter. Finish by asking permission to contact him or her later with additional questions. Then by all means, follow up (scroll down to read about following up).
Take time and build quality relationships.
It can be awkward immediately asking new acquaintances for favors or even long lost friends who you haven’t contacted for years. Network for the long run, and take time to build quality relationships. In time you’ll know people from whom you can ask immediate favors. Don’t wait for an emergency; increase your network right now so you have people to lean on.
Don’t hoof it solo, ask for introductions.
The power of networking is the network itself. That friend who knows everybody? Yep, he’s a networking gold mine, your time saving key to finding your next contact. Use your network to build your network and ask those you already know to introduce you to people who you don’t know. In my experience this networking strategy is priceless.
Stay positive.
Networking doesn’t always yield immediate results, so for some people staying positive might be challenging. Remind yourself that networking is a long-term investment. Staying positive makes relationship building much easier because positive thinking is contagious. When you network, people will remember your positive attitude (or your negative attitude). At the same time, speak positively about other people.
Not everybody is as well informed as you wish they were.
Not everybody you connect with is as well connected as you wish they were. It stinks, but that’s just the way it is. Just because they’re not well connected, don’t burn any bridges. You never know when you’ll need to cross it again.
Be yourself.
There’s no need to carry a mask for each situation and person you meet. Let people connect with the real you; it’s a lot harder to build lasting relationships otherwise. Communicate to communicate, not to bounce off others. People can sense when you’re being hollow or just sucking up, and for most people, that’s a turn off. I like to think of it as, “What you see is what you get.” No surprises.
Listen to others, show interest, and talk about yourself.
Networking is a two-way street. You absolutely must be willing to listen to others and not dominate every conversation, and at the same time, it’s imperative to talk about yourself willingly without sounding awkward or bragging. Find interest in what others do and have accomplished, and share what you do and have accomplished. When listening, avoid distractions and focus on the speaker.
Build common interests.
Building on common interests can quickly build trust and friendship. It creates an electric connection that can stimulate great conversation and opportunities. When meeting anyone for the first time, keep this in your mind’s forefront.
Make your questions count.
Ask questions which require thought and foresight. Sometimes this can be hard if you’re not familiar with the current topic. Consider using questions like, “How did you prepare for…,” or “What lead you to decide…,” or “How did you solve this issue….” People like it when you stroke their egos with thought-provoking questions or questions that require talking about their abilities and accomplishments.
Follow up.
Don’t blow this one. Seriously. All your effort is flushed away if you don’t follow up. Following up is vital to productivity and achieving results. Notify others that you acted on advice they gave you, or ask additional questions, or invite them to lunch–take an action towards reconnecting. Never let your first connection be your last with someone.
Use your network for more than emergencies.
It helps if your network isn’t strictly business oriented, allowing for more connections. In addition to finding jobs, clients, and projects, use your network to find jogging or racquetball partners, fellow Greek or sushi foodies, shopping fanatics, or fishing and camping friends. I frequently use my network to find software and programming solutions, good restaurants, and ninjas.
Don’t apologize.
I add this section because it’s a personal irritation of mine when in conversation or a Q&A session and someone keeps apologizing. There’s no reason to apologize for asking a question or two. Be confident. Don’t assume you’re getting in the way or being an inconvenience to them because you’re not.
Leave others something to remember you by.
Some of your contacts meet new people every day and for them it’s hard to remember everyone. So help them out. Give them anything (preferably with your contact information) that fits the situation and is convenient: a business card, a stationary, a magnet, a team lapel pin, a folded origami design with your number on it, a dirty napkin, a fat lip. Actually, those last two ideas aren’t such great ideas. Ignore those. Avoid something too obnoxious or they’ll throw it away on their way out the door. Sometimes a business card isn’t good enough either, especially when everybody has them. I attended a conference last summer where a man left me his contact information on a small origami t-shirt. Of the 100+ people I met there, I haven’t forgotten him. And while I’m thinking about it, I’m not sure what I did with everyone else’s business cards.
It’s okay if you’re rejected.
Not everyone wants to help you, even if you help him or her. It’s unfortunate, but it’s okay. Don’t burn the bridge, just move on and stay positive. It’s always good to reflect on your approach and outcome then smooth out the wrinkles.
Be willing to give.
Giving requires a sacrifice and concentrated effort on your part, but those who give typically receive in return. Give without the intent of receiving and let reciprocation take its natural course. People remember a generous giver. If you’re new to giving, this may be a tough pill to swallow. Giving can be charitable donations, time, resources, and even food. Reach out and give selflessly and when others talk about you it will be in respect, and they’ll want to know you.
Look the part.
First impressions count. Period. Dress the part and ‘dress for success.’ You don’t have to be wearing the latest Versace to make an impression; most of us can’t afford that stuff anyway, so tuck that shirt in, wear a belt, and shine your shoes. A suit and tie isn’t always necessary either; be alert to each situation. A button up or polo shirt with slacks or khakis is a safe bet. I personally don a more casual look than formal, but I keep a tie in my car for emergency situations.
Use the Internet.
The Internet is an awesome social networking tool. Chances are you probably use it all the time anyway. Turn it in to a networking engine with services like Linked In, Facebook, Twitter, and Google Buzz.
What are You Waiting For?
The heading says it all, really. Begin networking immediately or if you’re already in the process, take the next step to connect with someone new. Remember that networking is a long-term goal that returns benefits time and time again. Go get ‘em.
Wow, you made it all the way down here? Thanks for reading! Give your scroll finger a break and share your opinions, experiences, or additional advice in the comments below.
The information on networking is simply mind-blowing. ! I would like to thank you for sharing your ideas and putting the time into the articles you publish! Nice work!
Ann @ Website Presenter´s last [type] post: Abbe
This is excellent, excellent information, Chris! Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us on this important topic. Networking can definitely feel frightening, especially at first, but it’s essential. As humans, we’re social creatures (and this coming from an introvert), and we all need each other. Thank you again!
I really like that so much of your focus in this article was not social media. Social media is great and probably necessary for a lot of us, but networking face to face in real time and place is so important, and so enjoyable.
I think much of the anxiety about networking comes in thinking about it, anticipating or planning. Once I am actually talking to a person, there’s usually nothing to be anxious about.
Thanks to Kim, above, for drawing this article to my attention.
@Kim,
I still have moments when I’m scared to talk to someone, even though I know it’ll be for my own good. I’ve probably missed out on some good opportunities because of that. However, that being said, the times where I do get past that fear and speak with someone have almost always been beneficial, and I’ve enjoyed it immensely.
@Mary,
Thanks for stopping by, I’m glad that you enjoyed your article. Society is so “plugged in” that we forget to turn to the basics and the essentials, like face-to-face networking. Your comment was spot on.