Chris Mower» Self Control

Sometimes, You’ve Just Gotta’ Do It.

Chris Mower — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 16:21:15 +0000

When I was younger, my family and I frequently swam at a place called Lava Hot Springs in Lava Hot Springs, Idaho. On the deep end of the pool, they have an olympic sized diving platform built with three different levels, the highest being 33 feet above the water. My family and I would always taunt each other with dares to climb to the top and jump. For me, it was mostly all talk. “Someday,” I would respond. Truth was, I was terrified of heights and had very little desire to leap off such a height to my almost certain death. Having seen more than one person carried out on a stretcher after jumping reinforced that thought.

One day, however, I could not resist the taunts any longer. My two brothers had already taken up the challenge and leaped from the top platform. I would forever be thought of as a big sissy if I didn’t do it too. When you’re in Jr. High, things like that matter a lot, and the last thing I wanted was to have a reputation of being a panty-wearing sissy wuss boy.

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The Delusion of Control and the Power of Choice

Chris Mower — Wed, 22 Sep 2010 19:23:41 +0000

In my book, having control is a dangerous delusion–especially in business. How can you claim to be in control, when agency is a universal principle?

At any time any person could quit, sabotage your project, eat your lunch (gasp!), steal your thunder, fire you, raid your desk, and the list goes on.

Control is a delusion. You don’t have control.

What you do have is the power to choose.

The way you conduct yourself at home, work, online, and in the public eye has the power to persuade others to help you and be better people. If they decide to berate you and be nasty, they still can, but the way you act is a big determining factor if they will or not.

Employers who choose to treat their employees with respect and intelligence will find their employees will respect them in return and choose to work harder for them.

Freelancers who choose to treat their clients intelligently and with respect, will find that their clients will do the same in return.

Parents who love, respect, and especially choose to listen to their children will find their children choosing to listening in return.

It’s all about choice. Employees will be disgruntled, clients angered, and children rebellious, especially when we try to control them.

Choose to treat them right, and they’ll choose to follow you.

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Working Long Hours vs Productivity

Chris Mower — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 13:54:35 +0000

Working long hours doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll accomplish more.

If you’re excited about a project and have personal interest, you’ll most likely utilize all the time you’re allotted, but what about those projects that you don’t have a personal interest in that are required because of work?

When you’re not jumping at the gun to start a new project, you often find excuses to not start until later. A couple hours later a project that you said would take 8 hours can be done in 6. A project that you said would take 5 days is done in 3.

Why?

Because you procrastinate until the last possible moment and then you have no choice but to buckle down and get to work.

Because you purposefully bid a longer amount of time to give you time to “think about the project.”

Because you just can’t start the day before reading every news article on Yahoo!, MSN, and BBC News.

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Can You Really Choose Your Attitude?

Chris Mower — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 01:57:11 +0000

I’m writing about a subject that I still haven’t formed a solid opinion on yet. Maybe you can help me figure it out. But here are my thoughts on the matter today…

Can you really choose your attitude or mood? Can you really change from sad to happy, just like that? Sure, attitude and mood aren’t exactly the same, but they are closely related, and so for my purposes I’ll treat them equally.

I believe choosing your attitude is a highly misguided principle. It’s advice laced with good intention and it makes sense when dispensed, but when someone gives it to you, it becomes completely irrational and usually stirs up anger. I cut it from my repertoire for that reason. I’ve tried choosing my attitude countless times, especially on mornings when I wake up as Mr. Grumpy Pants, and guess what? It never works. Why? Well, I’m human and prone to emotions and feelings at any given time. And like anybody else, some things really get under my skin. I view advocates of “choosing your attitude” as telling me to forget I’m Chris and instead behave like xCM01-27.cpo, their personal robot who feels like they want me to feel and thinks how they want me to think. Phhhbbbt. I’m sorry, but it doesn’t work. Please let me be angry when I’m angry; let me cry when I’m sad, and let me smile when I’m happy. These same people slather guilt on you for experiencing emotions when they don’t.

If you prefer to be human, please stand up. Stuffing a faux mood into yourself causes emotional constipation, instead choose to exhibit self control and turn your emotions into positive action and words. It’s not wrong to feel anger if someone angers you. It is wrong to fatten their lip and scream explicative words in their face; where’s the decency? Emotions are naturally part of you, but don’t let them rule you. Do you understand? It’s not about choosing your emotions, it’s about choosing your actions and what you say, no matter which emotion you’re feeling.

Do you agree? Do you disagree? Do you have another view on the matter? Let me know in the comments.

You Want Me to Change?! Holy Smokes!

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